1. You’re both able to admit where you went wrong and apologize. If you’re not self-aware, if you’re unable to own up to your mistakes and say you’re sorry to your partner, then the relationship is never going to last. You need to take responsibility for the mistakes you’ve made without placing the blame on friends or family or exes or any other outside factors. You need to recognize you’re imperfect and need to make some changes.
2. You’re both willing to put in the effort to make things work. Apologizing to each other is a great first step, but it shouldn’t be the only step. You shouldn’t return to engaging in bad behavior as soon as the argument cools down and you’re on good terms again. You need to put effort into bettering yourself. You need to make the choice to change, to work on your bad habits, to become a more attentive, loving partner. If you’re not willing to put in the effort to grow, then you’re going to keep having the same problems. You’re going to keep repeating the same arguments.
3. You’re both picturing the same type of future. If you want the same things, if you’re imagining the same type of life, then it might be worth fighting for this person. However, if you aren’t in sync with each other, if your morals are too different or your plans for the future are too different, there’s no point in wasting your energy trying to work things out. You’re going to break up somewhere down the line anyway.
4. Neither of you have crossed an unforgivable line. Some mistakes can be forgiven. Others are unacceptable. You need to figure out which type of mistake was made because there are some betrayals that you won’t be able to come back from. Remember, you need to trust each other and respect each other in order to make a relationship work. If one of those elements is missing now, and you can’t picture it ever returning, then you’re better off walking away. However, if you can truly forgive each other and move past what happened without holding onto bitterness or resentment, then you can try to make it work.
5. You feel like this person fits you well. Love isn’t enough to create a long-lasting relationship. You don’t want to stay, simply because you have feelings for this person. Ask yourself whether you make a good match. Do they make you happy? Do they support you? Are they worth your hard work?
6. You feel like you could bounce back from this stronger. You don’t want to settle. You don’t want to stay with this person, simply because it would be too much trouble to leave. If this person hurt you, you should only stay with them if you genuinely believe you’re going to be able to work out your problems, come to a fair compromise, and come out stronger than before. If you think your relationship is only going to decline, that it can never be the same again, that you’re done with this person, then leave.