1. Feeling insecure. You don’t want to date someone who compares you to other women. Or who makes backhanded compliments about your appearance. Or suggests ways you should change yourself. However, if your partner only has eyes for you, and always treats you with respect, and calls you beautiful every single day, then the problem isn’t the relationship. You need to do some soul searching yourself. You need to put energy into learning how to love yourself. You need to recognize that your flaws aren’t as bad as you feel and your strengths are even greater than you know.
2. Assuming they’re going to cheat. If your partner has dating apps on their phone or keeps in touch with exes who still have feelings for them or stares at every woman who passes him, then your worries are coming from a reasonable place. However, if you’re concerned about a partner who has never given you any reason to worry, if you’re freaking out because you were cheated on by someone else and have trust issues, then you need to put effort into working on your baggage. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid to let someone into your heart. However, you have to overcome those fears on your own.
3. Getting into silly little fights. Your partner should take your emotions seriously. They should consider your opinion valid. However, if you’re always fighting with them over the silliest things, you have to take a step back and ask yourself whether you’re getting angry for a good reason or whether you’re searching for reasons to be mad at your person. You might be trying to sabotage the relationship without realizing it. You might be trying to push them away from you because you don’t believe you are worthy of their love. If that’s the case, then you need to remind yourself you have value. Remind yourself they are with you for a reason. They love you. They don’t want anyone else.
4. Feeling pressured to behave (or look) a certain way. If your partner loves the real you, if they tell you how beautiful you look in sweatpants, if they are just as attracted to you when you roll out of bed in the morning as they are when you spend hours doing your hair and makeup, then you shouldn’t feel like putting in so much work every single day is necessary. Even though you might feel like they won’t love you if you stop dressing up, it might mean you don’t love you unless you are all dressed up. You need to learn to recognize how beautiful you are, inside and out. You have to stop being so hard on yourself.
5. You never enjoy yourself in the bedroom. If your partner asks what you want, spends time on your pleasure, and puts effort into making you moan, then they are doing their job. You might have to do some work on your end. You might have to take some time to discover what makes you feel good. After all, you can’t teach your partner what you like until you learn what you like.