There may be a lot of ups and downs to love, but certainly there are a lot of things to learn from it. For starters, you’ll learn how your priorities change even without you noticing it. How a simple phone call from a certain someone can just make a nasty day 1,000 times better. How just a “This was fun, we should do it again some other time,” message after an amazing day out could turn a mild breeze into a twirling tornado.
You start learning to love the simple things around you that you once failed to notice during those busy days. Sometimes international cuisines aren’t what you’re looking for to plan a perfect date. You look for small things that can make you happy even if they aren’t grand. You start to appreciate what your special someone likes. You try to put yourself in their shoes. And you do it all by yourself just to get to know your loved one better. You look for a common language so that the two of you can share more than just a superficial conversation. You try to find ways to connect on a deeper level.
You want your worlds to collide and you want to reap the joy from that to build a safe haven for the two of you. You try to confide in this person, trust them with all your heart despite knowing that it may cause pain if things don’t go the way you planned it. As far as love is concerned, it cannot be planned or forced. You go with the flow, and if it doesn’t really flow, then you let it hit you. You learn to live without it, and you gather those lessons you’ve learned before, only to fall harder in love the next time. Once you love someone, you can never stop loving them. You only learn to love someone even more than you did previously. This doesn’t make you vulnerable. As a matter of fact, it shows how strong you are and how much you’re capable of.
You don’t mind being in the crossfire for this person. You learn when to back down and when to step up. You learn to find comfort in silence and you learn to respect the word “space” that you once thought was ridiculous when it comes to a relationship. You learn to let your loved one win certain arguments, not because you’re the bigger person but because you want to see their face lighten up over childish things. You appreciate their childishness. You start adoring them for it. You let them do it more often so that you can fight over small things like kids. You stop fearing that these arguments might cause a rift. Instead, you start to believe that they’re bringing the two of you closer and closer each time.
You start to find ways to surprise your babe. And you keep them coming just to catch them off guard each time. You start embracing their flaws and you learn to embrace your own. You teach them how to love themselves and you learn to love yourself in that process. You wish you could literally let them take a look at themselves through your eyes. You miss them when you’re far away despite being surrounded by a dozen of your crazy friends. You want to call and disturb them, but you know they’re probably busy with something.
You make excuses to meet up. You make excuses to make phone calls. You learn to let them go because you know they’ll come back. You stop putting them on a leash out of fear. You’ll stop worrying about losing them. You’ll in fact support them even from a fair distance. You’ll swipe through your gallery to relive those memories. You’ll even send one of those pictures to them and say “Remember that crazy day? I wish we could do that again.” You’ll learn that things are different now and that the two of you have become so mature. Those nervous, stomach-twisting first few dates are now calm evenings spent in each other’s arms.
Most importantly, you learn to be more patient and accepting. You learn to welcome new and different things into your life. This doesn’t mean that the realm of love that you and your lover are in is saturated, but it means that you’ve been in this realm together for a really long time and you know how things work. Moreover, you learn how to make it work. You don’t get bored of it. You go back to it because now it’s your safe place. The shell you want to go into in order to feel warm and protected. You’ll learn to open up and you’ll learn to forgive. You’ll find yourself making mistakes with them and you’ll both giggle while trying to make things right.
I hope I’ve painted a nice picture about love and I hope you get to experience every single bit of it. I hope you learn how simple and complicated love can be, and I hope you make it to the end in peace.