What is Birth Order?
Birth Order Theory first began with Alfred Adler’s research into how social factors influence someone’s personality, especially throughout their developmental years. It’s called the “Birth Order Theory” because the personality traits Adler discovered in children, correlated to the series in which they were born into their family, e.g. firstborn, second born, only born, etc. Certain correlations include that firstborn children tend to be leaders as they are the first ones born into the family and feel they are somewhat superior to their siblings or need to be in charge of them.
Birth Order Theory can open up a new world of exploring ourselves. The order in which we were born distinguishes how we act, what we like, and what opportunities we’re willing to take in life. This means to, our birth order plays into when we’re ready to have children or what might be holding us back from having a family.
Wondering when it’ll be time to start having babies? This article will dive into each birth order position and uncover the age range each one will likely start their family.
With no siblings to soak up their attention, only children often spend a lot of time with their parents and other adults. Because of this, only children tend to mature much faster than their peers with siblings. They’re eager to grow up; looking for ways to relate with those older than them. Not to mention, since they are used to being the center of their parents attention and often getting their way, only children are quite confident in themselves and their decision making.
Their desire to reach adulthood quicker than most, paired with their strong confidence and independence means that they’ll most like look to settle down quickly. They know what they want, when they want it and they’re not afraid to get it. Only children will likely find a partner early in life due to their sensitive and mature demeanor. And due to the fact that they were the only child in their family, they are going to want quite a few babies and soon. This is why only children will look to start having kids around ages 24 through 29.
Firstborn children are natural leaders because they are the oldest of their siblings. Being the head of their siblings can lead them to be a bit bossy or controlling at times. However, at the heart of their Type A tendencies, lies the desire to take care of their siblings and get things done the right way.
They often feel like adults already because they’re watching over their younger siblings and helping out their parents. Because of this, they often want to take a longer gap between adolescence and raising children of their own. Not to mention, their strong aspirations to do everything perfectly and at the right time, leads them to want more stability in their life before starting a family. Firstborns are likely to start having children between the ages of 30 and 35.
Second born children and first children are often pretty similar as the second child tends to try and follow in the same footsteps as the first child. However, a parent’s pressure is lightened on their second child in comparison with their first meaning they’re often more independent and desire less validation.
At the same time, second children harbor a competitive energy that is unmatched as they try to keep up with the high bar their older sibling is setting. This same energy is what sparks the desire to settle down quick in a lot of second children. Not to mention, their rebellious nature that stems from a want to stand out causes them to crave the attention that might come from having babies before the firstborn sibling. Second born children are eager to love, be loved, and start a family even earlier than expected of them which is why they look to start having children between ages 27 and 32.
Middle children are often referred to as the “forgotten” children because they are caught between the first and the baby of the family. Due to this sentiment, they often react in one of two ways: internalize those feelings and present as a very even-keeled child or act out constantly as a way to hopefully gain attention. While all middle children are fairly adaptable and amiable with most, they struggle with emotions of feeling unloved or left out amongst their family.
While middle children are eager to start a family of their own to make up for any voids they feel internally, they first need to sort through their own inner turmoil. Deep thinkers and incredibly empathetic, middle children recognize that they need to surpass these troubling feelings before settling down which is why they aim to start a family later than most. Many middle children will look to have kids in their mid to late 30s, most likely between the ages of 34 and 39.
Youngest Child (The Baby)
The youngest child, otherwise known as the ‘baby’ of the family, operates in a space where their parents give them a lot of attention but there is less pressure on them compared to their older siblings. This leads to a lot of last-born children wanting to grow up quicker so they can be in step with their older siblings. However, the affection they receive from their parents causes a lot of last-borns to feel extremely well-liked; turning them into charming, outgoing people.
Due to their older siblings ruling the bunch, last-born children are not used to making decisions and often avoid taking responsibility when it comes to familial issues. It takes them a bit longer to develop a sense of maturity and figure out what they want in life. Most last-borns enjoy living a single, “carefree” life for as long as possible which is why they don’t think about having a family until they’re at least in their 30s. On the other hand, they often are the ones to light up a room and deeply enjoy being in love so starting a family is a priority for them. Last-born children are likely to start their family between the ages of 32 and 37.