A relationship isn’t going to last unless you are open with your partner about your thoughts and emotions — and they are too. You’re never going to be perfect at communicating, but it’s going to be much easier if you’re on the same wavelength. Here are the concrete signs you’re emotionally in sync with your partner:
You understand when to give each other space.
Although it’s frustrating when your partner won’t open up to you about what they’re thinking, you know when to push a little and when to give them space to work out their feelings. You understand when to encourage a constructive conversation and when to sit back and allow them to move at a pace that makes them feel comfortable. You aren’t going to push them to speak on topics they aren’t ready for yet — but you aren’t going to let them get away with silence when you seriously need to talk either.
You understand when to give advice and when to listen.
When your person comes to you with their thoughts and feelings, you don’t jump to trying to fix whatever is wrong when it’s clear that isn’t what they want. You figure out what they want from you, whether it’s by sensing it or actually asking the words out loud, before you try to solve all their problems. Sometimes, they just need you there to listen and you are okay with that.
You give out genuine apologies.
You don’t automatically say what they want to hear in order to get them to stop being angry with you. Your words hold meaning. And those words make it clear you understand what the heart of the problem is. You’re not apologizing just because you feel bad. You’re apologizing because you understand what hurt your person and want to grow from it.
You accept that you won’t always see eye-to-eye.
You understand you aren’t the same person. And just because you feel differently from them, that doesn’t mean their feelings are wrong. It doesn’t mean they are overreacting. You would never minimize their emotions because they are valid, even if they are completely different than yours.
You put effort into comforting them when they need you.
You aren’t going to magically make everything okay again. But you are going to do your best to remind them they aren’t alone. You are going to be there to hold them when they need a hug and get them laughing when they’re ready to joke about the situation. You might not say the right thing every single time, but you’re trying your hardest to pick up on what they need and provide it for them. And they’re doing the same.
You use their emotions to empower your own growth.
Instead of growing defensive when your person comes to you with a problem, you are mature enough to sit down and have a serious conversation about it. And if you discover that they’re right about mistakes you’ve made, you actively put effort into changing. You use the experience to push you to do better in the future. Overall, it’s a positive because you grew in the end.